What is a Home Rhythm?

As the practice of creating a rhythm becomes more well-known and practiced among parents, I find that I get a lot of questions about this topic. Parents want to know what is rhythm? Why do I need a rhythm? How can I create a rhythm that fits my family’s needs?

Today, I want to talk about just that.

Rhythm is in us, in the beating of our hearts, in nature, it’s how we are connected to life.

There is rhythm in the seasons of the year, rhythm in each day with the sun rising and setting, and rhythm in our bodies from our breathing to the beating of our hearts.

So what does a rhythm look like in our homes? A common misconception is that a rhythm is the same as a schedule. A schedule relies on the clock. In a schedule, you might say, at 8 am we have breakfast, at 8:30 am we clear the table, at 8:45 am we get ready for a walk, and so on. That is a schedule.

A rhythm is not bound to the clock, what is more important in a rhythm is the sequence of how things happen rather than the timing. In a rhythm, you could have breakfast, clear the table, and get ready for a walk, without watching the clock to check if everything is happening by a certain time.

Of course, we need to rely on the clock for certain things like leaving for work or school, having dinner, or going to bed. But with rhythm, what’s most important is the order.

Within this flow of rhythm comes another layer – In-breaths and out-breaths. Perhaps you’ve heard of this concept before, but if you haven’t, allow me to explain.

For a moment, try breathing out, then without inhaling breathe out again, and again. You’ll notice that it feels very uncomfortable and the feeling you get to inhale overwhelms your senses. Your body is begging you to take a deep breath.

This is what happens to us when we are in a go-go-go state in life. When we don’t take a moment to sit down or perhaps rest when our body needs to.

For our children, this go-go-go feeling has an even greater effect and it looks like not having enough time to just be, or having overscheduled days with too many activities. Or having packed weekends after long weekdays at school.

As with too many out-breaths where you’re constantly exhaling, too many in-breaths has a similar effect because it also doesn’t feel good to the body to be in a constant state of having to inhale over and over without taking a moment to exhale.

And what does too much of just exhaling or inhaling look like in a child? Tantrums, resistance, meltdowns, boundary-testing, difficulty self-regulating, and other challenging behaviors. It’s overwhelming to the sensory system.

What we need, and what children need, is a balance of both the in-breath and the out-breath.

Now you might be wondering, how do I know what is an in-breath and what is an out-breath for my child?

In-breaths are calmer or more focused activities such as coloring, reading a book, or sitting down to eat a meal.

Out-breaths are higher energy, or social activities such as going to the park, playing independently, or having a playdate.

When we balance our days with both in-breaths and out-breaths, it allows our children to have more balanced energy and this allows them to get through the day with less resistance.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to creating a healthy home rhythm.

I dive deep into this topic in my new course Home Rhythms Made Simple.

This is a course for parents of children 7 and under who are tired of power struggles, tantrums, and unpredictable days. Parents who want to lessen mental fatigue. Through simple, actionable steps, you’ll learn how to establish a rhythm that works for your unique family—one that brings clarity, calm, and consistency to your home.

Click here to learn more.