Nature tells us that winter is the time for rest. A time to pause and store our energy for growth in the spring. Slowing down is hard but living a life that feels breathless is not only unhealthy, it will leave you feeling exhausted. Tuning into the winter season will help you see if you are living day to day in a breathless state. When you stop moving, if only for a few minutes, pause, go outside or at the least look out a window and listen to how quiet nature is in the winter, you are tuning into the season.

So why slow down? This question might be the best place to start. Here are some questions that could help reveal if slowing down is something you need to do.

Are you able to sleep deeply at night?

Are you able to give yourself breaks during the day to rest your eyes even for a few minutes?

Are you able to take a 10-minute walk, look out the window, or simply sit and enjoy a cup of tea?

Do you experience your home as a sanctuary? Is there an overall feeling of calm?

Do you need to declutter?

Is there space and time for your family to enjoy each other’s company?

Does your child have enough time to be home to play freely and independently?

Is your child showing signs of stress?

If you want your home to feel peaceful then you’ll need to slow down the pace of life in your home. A peaceful home doesn’t mean that there is never any noise or that it is always calm. A peaceful home is a home where there are harmonious feelings among family members. It’s a home that embodies deep feelings of security and emotional safety. If you want your home to embody these qualities it takes being intentional about your decisions and actions and the first step to take is to slow down. When you do you’ll find that not only are you more mindful you’re also more intentional.

Nature slows down in winter and as the earth’s energy and growth forces turn inward and mother nature, in her infinite wisdom, surrenders to this time of rest. Rest, makes it possible to gather forces for the next season. Rest is restorative and just like sleep is a critical part of a daily rhythm, slowing life down in the winter months is a necessary part of a yearly rhythm.

Every day, your child’s body and mind is engaged in the slow developmental processes of growth. As they are becoming themselves, they need time for these processes to happen in a healthy way. Have you noticed how your child is the happiest when life moves at a slow pace and they have time and space to play and explore the natural world? We, on the other hand, tend to bounce between the future and the past in our thoughts while our child longs to stay suspended in the present, fully engaged in the moment. Fulfill their need means slowing life down and allowing them to be enveloped in the present. It’s in the present moment where there is time to pause, time to slow down so that the body’s energy and growth forces can focus on the important work of growing their body in a healthy way. Slowing down makes it possible for your child’s mind to slowly take in the world around them and make sense of it and in all ways, it helps them to be resilient.

Over the years, I often come back to the following quote by Henry David Thoreau

“I am struck by the fact that the more slowly trees grow at first, the sounder they are at the core, and I think that the same is true of human beings. We do not wish to see children precocious, making great strides in their early years like sprouts, producing a soft and perishable timber, but better if they expand slowly at first, as if contending with difficulties, and so are solidified and perfected.”

In today’s world, multitasking is highly valued as a skill but this so called skill fractures the ability to remain in the present. Consider that when your ability to be present is fractured, it also affects your child’s ability to be fully engaged in the present moment. Should we then be surprised that increasing numbers of children are being diagnosed with attention difficulties? But perhaps the bigger question is, Are we too suffering from attention difficulties?

When life moves at a quick pace, you’ll probably find that your pace has increased too. This will be overwhelming not only for your child but you too. Slowing down helps you reflect on how busy you have become and what changes you need to make. It helps you know what’s important and what to let go of or do less of. When life slows down children know what to expect and they are less nervous, less anxious. There’s more time for transitions to go slowly and more time supports your child’s ability to transition with greater ease. There’s more time to teach your child life skills like setting the table, washing dishes, helping to prepare meals as well as other purposeful tasks in the home. A slower pace means that there’s more time to help your child learn practical skills like getting dressed and undressed, brushing their teeth and cleaning up their toys. Your child will have more time to ease into being social and learn social skills with your guidance. When life slows down there’s more time for your child’s independent play and since play is the work of childhood they get to process their life experiences and strengthen their self-regulation skills. Another important aspect to slowing down is that there’s more time to observe your child which helps you get to know them and their unique personality even more.

Young children are easily overwhelmed and anxious when life moves to fast and slowing down is the natural first step to reducing overwhelm and anxiety. It has a dramatic affect on a child’s ability to be centered and grounded. Perhaps you can think of slowing life down like an elimination diet. Ask yourself, What is essential? What is extra and what is just too much? Take away what is not needed and all the unnecessary extras and see if this eliminates some or all of their overwhelm and anxiety. Eliminating helps you get to the core, it’s like peeling away the layers of an onion skin. As you slowly peel away the layers, you’ll discover what is at the core of life for your family. Slowing down reveals what you value and what’s important to you. When your child is older and more able to regulate their emotions, you can slowly add back what was once eliminated as long as it meets their developmental needs. The elimination diet will help you discern what’s not meeting their needs what should be completely removed.

The path to slowing down starts with having an honest look at your child’s needs because what’s best for your child doesn’t always align with what you want and this is where you’ll need to make sacrifices, all to nourish and support your child’s slow development. To craft a family life that has a slower pace, start by creating healthy home rhythms that nurture your child’s wellbeing and create a more rhythmic life where you, as the gatekeeper, cultivates a nurturing and nourishing home. Rhythm creates predictability and predictability creates stability and security which cultivates peace and harmony. With a rhythm that moves at a slower pace you can carve out times in your day to pause and breathe deeply. It’s in the pauses that family connections and relationships are strengthened. At first it sounds simple but oh my, it takes a lot of self-discipline. The self-discipline that is nurtured as you slow life down empowers you to look at your needs and what is no longer serving you. It empowers you to care for yourself with greater intention. Slowing down means there’s more time to nurture yourself too.